Understanding With vs. Understanding About
In the realm of psychotherapy, the art of empathy is like a delicate dance, a poetic expression of understanding that bridges the gap between the therapist and their client. It is in this dance that we find the distinction between "understanding with" and "understanding about." These terms may seem subtle, but they hold profound significance in the therapeutic journey.
Imagine empathy as a canvas upon which the therapist and client paint their emotions, thoughts, and experiences. At the heart of this canvas is the notion of understanding. But, how we understand, and the depth to which we connect, can make all the difference, and empathy is the vessel used to achieve this.
Understanding About: In the world of "understanding about," the therapist dons the robe of the observer. This approach involves analyzing, interpreting, and perhaps even dissecting the client's experiences from an intellectual standpoint. It's akin to studying a beautiful painting under a microscope to comprehend the finer details.
This analytical stance can be valuable, as it equips the therapist with a framework to categorize and make sense of the client's struggles. It enables the therapist to draw from their theoretical knowledge and experience to offer insights and strategies for change.
However, "understanding about" has its limitations. It can inadvertently create a power dynamic where the therapist is perceived as an expert who imparts knowledge. The therapeutic space may lose its warmth and intimacy, making the client feel like a subject under scrutiny rather than a partner in healing.
Understanding With: On the other side of this empathic dance is "understanding with." Here, the therapist sheds the analytical spectacles and instead dons the mantle of a companion. It is a collaborative endeavor, where the therapist joins the client in their world, feeling their emotions, and walking in their shoes.
In "understanding with," the therapist's primary goal is to resonate with the client's feelings and experiences. This approach is all about genuine, non-judgmental presence. It's about saying, "I may not fully comprehend your unique journey, but I am here, feeling what you feel, and we'll navigate it together."
"Understanding with" is a transformative approach. It empowers the client, reinforcing their sense of agency. It fosters a deep sense of connection, trust, and acceptance. In this empathic space, the therapist doesn't impose solutions but helps the client discover their own path to healing and growth.
The Dance of Empathy: So, in the poetic dance of empathy, when we choose "understanding with" over "understanding about," we create a space where healing blossoms. We honour the uniqueness of the individual's story, recognizing that, in the end, it is their wisdom that leads the way.
As a therapist becomes a partner in this intricate dance, where the steps are led by the clients, and the music is the melody of their emotions. In this dance, the therapeutic relationship is a haven of connection, acceptance, and growth.
Practical Steps for Supporting a Colleague:
Listen Actively: Provide a safe space for your colleague to share their thoughts and feelings. Offer your undivided attention and refrain from judgment or offering immediate solutions.
Empathize and Validate: Acknowledge your colleague's emotions and experiences. Express empathy and let them know that their feelings are valid.
Ask How You Can Help: Offer your support by asking how you can be of assistance. Your colleague may have specific needs or preferences that you can accommodate.
Respect Boundaries: Respect your colleague's boundaries and decisions. Avoid pushing them into conversations or actions they may not be comfortable with.
Encourage Professional Help: Suggest seeking professional support when appropriate. Offer resources or guidance on where to find help, but do so with sensitivity and respect for their autonomy.
Follow Up: Check in with your colleague regularly, expressing your ongoing support and interest in their well-being.
Just as in the poetic art of healing, the power of empathy in the workplace lies in our ability to be compassionate fellow travellers. By choosing "understanding with" over "understanding about," we create an atmosphere of support and connection. Your empathy can play a pivotal role in your colleague's journey towards better mental health, fostering a sense of hope and healing that is immeasurable. Remember, your support can truly transform lives, making the workplace a more compassionate and understanding space.